news pouring in from all directions. Our reliable sources reported:- Wife nabs husband thrice after he tried to flee from the theatre leaving the movie half-way. We later found that she was taking karate lessons.
- People seen running helter-skelter half way through the movie. Some of them were screaming as if it were a Ramsay Brothers horror-comedy film.
- Fortunately, stampede in major theatres in Mumbai avoided due to fear of Shiv Sena activists.
- SRK's Fan, in an attempt to immitate his favourite Star bangs his head to the person adjacent to him. Today both are in Lilavati Hospital ICU.
- Man found on the road saying..."Boore Log Acche Log" admitted to Mental Hospital Pune.
- SRK had to discontinue Mr. Bean walking classes half way due to his busy schedule. So, in the movie, his walking style was somewhere between half-abnormal and full-abnormal.
- 100's of co-actors in the movie are repenting for their appearance in it. This has sealed all hopes of making it big in any kind of (Holly, Bolly, Kolly, Tolly) wood they said.
- Obama has filed a case against Karan Johar for entertaining a Cartoon resembling him.
- Script writers had boycotted Karan Johar for an indefinite period since the past 1 year. Therefore, he is left with only one script that he reused for New York, Qurbaan, MNIK, and will use that in all his movies for the next 10 years.
- Kajol decided to take another long break as she could'nt come out of shock after watching the movie herself. The doctor has advised that it might be ok even if she acts with Ajay Devgan but avoid Shahrukh for this lifetime.
- All Banks and Financial Institutions have ordered for new banners ...."No Admission Without Permission for Red Chillies and Dharma Productions".
- Mrs. Gauri Khan is seriously considering taking Sanyas from film production.
- When our reporter spoke to Mama Jenee and Funny Hair Joel from MNIK, they said that not only would they not act in Bollywood movies going ahead, but also never watch them.
- Mr. Boman Irani is extremely sorry for giving this idea to Shahrukh that he had started acting at the age of 44+ in one of the Award Ceremonies. This inspired Shahrukh to dare to act, rather than resorting to his standard superstar gimmicks.
- The Director had taken an oath that he would make MNIK 2 hrs. 40 mins long. Since it was getting too difficult to stretch the story, the film crew unanimously decided that the worst dialogues in the film should be repeated as many times as needed.
- Many people thanked the Theatre owners for 2 hrs 40 mins of sound sleep in Air Conditioned theatres where they could stretch their body over 3-4 chairs.
- Psyiotherapists have suggested a neck belt and traction treatment to SRK, for speedy recovery from the vibrating head syndrome.
- Sleeping pill company owners are on Hunger Strike as their Pills do not have a market these days the reason being, everyone started buying a pirated Cd of MNIK, and one is enough for the entire family and can even be shared with friends and relatives.
- Shahrukh has put a dangling IPL carrot in front of the Pakistani cricketers where their probability of getting included in the Kolkata Knight Riders team is directly proportional to the money they blow on MNIK tickets.
- Terrorists operating in POK have adopted a new slogan-"My Name Is Khan and I am not a Terrorist", as the Police are fleeing from the scene, on hearing this sentence.
- Finally, the breaking news is, this movie made 18M $ in the first week. CBI and the IIMs have put together a joint venture to investigate how this could happen. The Indian Railway profit analysis problem had to be temporarily put on the stack.
No comments:
Post a Comment