My Name Is....PAIN

 news pouring in from all directions. Our reliable sources reported:

• Wife nabs husband thrice after he tried to flee from the theatre leaving the movie half-way. We later found that she was taking karate lessons.
• People seen running helter-skelter half way through the movie. Some of them were screaming as if it were a Ramsay Brothers horror-comedy film.
• Fortunately, stampede in major theatres in Mumbai avoided due to fear of Shiv Sena activists.
• SRK's Fan, in an attempt to immitate his favourite Star bangs his head to the person adjacent to him. Today both are in Lilavati Hospital ICU.
• Man found on the road saying..."Boore Log Acche Log" admitted to Mental Hospital Pune.
• SRK had to discontinue Mr. Bean walking classes half way due to his busy schedule. So, in the movie, his walking style was somewhere between half-abnormal and full-abnormal.
• 100's of co-actors in the movie are repenting for their appearance in it. This has sealed all hopes of making it big in any kind of (Holly, Bolly, Kolly, Tolly) wood they said.
• Obama has filed a case against Karan Johar for entertaining a Cartoon resembling him.
• Script writers had boycotted Karan Johar for an indefinite period since the past 1 year. Therefore, he is left with only one script that he reused for New York, Qurbaan, MNIK, and will use that in all his movies for the next 10 years.
• Kajol decided to take another long break as she could'nt come out of shock after watching the movie herself. The doctor has advised that it might be ok even if she acts with Ajay Devgan but avoid Shahrukh for this lifetime.
• All Banks and Financial Institutions have ordered for new banners ...."No Admission Without Permission for Red Chillies and Dharma Productions".
• Mrs. Gauri Khan is seriously considering taking Sanyas from film production.
• When our reporter spoke to Mama Jenee and Funny Hair Joel from MNIK, they said that not only would they not act in Bollywood movies going ahead, but also never watch them.
• Mr. Boman Irani is extremely sorry for giving this idea to Shahrukh that he had started acting at the age of 44+ in one of the Award Ceremonies. This inspired Shahrukh to dare to act, rather than resorting to his standard superstar gimmicks.
• The Director had taken an oath that he would make MNIK 2 hrs. 40 mins long. Since it was getting too difficult to stretch the story, the film crew unanimously decided that the worst dialogues in the film should be repeated as many times as needed.
• Many people thanked the Theatre owners for 2 hrs 40 mins of sound sleep in Air Conditioned theatres where they could stretch their body over 3-4 chairs.
• Psyiotherapists have suggested a neck belt and traction treatment to SRK, for speedy recovery from the vibrating head syndrome.
• Sleeping pill company owners are on Hunger Strike as their Pills do not have a market these days the reason being, everyone started buying a pirated Cd of MNIK, and one is enough for the entire family and can even be shared with friends and relatives.
• Shahrukh has put a dangling IPL carrot in front of the Pakistani cricketers where their probability of getting included in the Kolkata Knight Riders team is directly proportional to the money they blow on MNIK tickets.
• Terrorists operating in POK have adopted a new slogan-"My Name Is Khan and I am not a Terrorist", as the Police are fleeing from the scene, on hearing this sentence.
• Finally, the breaking news is, this movie made 18M $ in the first week. CBI and the IIMs have put together a joint venture to investigate how this could happen. The Indian Railway profit analysis problem had to be temporarily put on the stack.

Star Brother/Sister Wars

Yesterday evening my son came running to me and told me about the fight he had with his close friend and had decided they wouldn't speak till their last breath. At first, the thought really tickled me as I had never expected such extreme statements from both the boys at such a tender age. Like any other mother I could convince both of them without much effort, and within a fraction of a second they left my home hand in hand.

Number of thoughts ran through my mind-Do we grown-ups forget fights so easily? Forget about the quarrels with our friends we even dont forgive our family for trivial incidences which turn into big issues without any valid reason. Ego-problem seems to be big in every one of us but we believe "Yours is an Ego-Problem and Mine is the Confidence"

Ambani Brothers
Dhirubhai Ambani, the most enterprising enterpreneur of the Indian Industry had set up, with lots of hard work, India's largest private sector company Reliance India Limited. Both his sons, Mukesh and Anil supported him from time to time. But after the death of their father in the year 2002, with certain bitter thoughts in the minds of both the brothers RIL split in the year 2006.



Pandit Brothers
Who does'nt know Film-Composers Jatin and Lalit? Music for Khiladi, Khamoshi, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was composed by this duo. After working together for around 16 years they separated in 2006. The reason for the split is unknown but entertainment-writers say that it is due to certain financial matters.



Mangeshkar sisters
Lata didi and Asha Bhosale's rivalry is often talked about. According to Ashaji the reason for non communication between didi and her was that the former did not like the way she had left all the responsibilities on her and gone and got married to her beloved.

Ye Kaliyug hai bhaiyaa...yahaan kuch bhi ho sakataa hai!

Like every coin has two sides there are few of them who should be truly worshipped. And when I think who it can be, the first and foremost name which comes to my mind is......





Tendulkar Brothers
If Cricket is a Religion in India then Sachin Tendulkar is the God. But who created this God? None other than his elder-brother, Mr. Ajit Tendulkar. The Big Brother put all his personal life aside and created a gem for India. The Master-Blaster too has a great respect for his brother-coach and also says, "Ajit has always been my guiding light in cricket. He was the one who spotted my natural ability and honed that. With his help and coaching I have developed into the cricketer that I am. I am still improving and it is still Ajit that I look to for that help."

I wished we all had such a loving and caring relations with all our friends and family..... especially in this mad-after-pleasure nuclear-family age where family just means husband-wife and kid(s).